VoxBlog

Final Post.

Well Vox, I've been blogging here for 5 years now, I think I'll miss you, sorta.  I'll miss all the people who chose Wordpress over TypePad, I feel like a community divided.  I'm loving TypePad so far, It has all the things I loved about Vox, the neighborhood, the ease of commenting, with the things I also loved about Tumblr which is where I do all my photoblogging.  So please, please, please join TypePad or you'll be relegated to my RSS feed where it's difficult for me to comment on your posts and be an active participant in your blog.

In other news, I moved in real life too!  We are almost all unpacked now, except for me and my craft room stuff.  I have an excuse though, I developed this lovely, barking, cough that drains me of my life force.  So I've been unpacking at my leisure since, well... since I don't have a job. Next week I'll be applying for unemployment just like the rest of America.  I know I qualify, but there is always that chance that I won't get it.  *cue rising anxiety*

Classes at EWU don't start until the 22nd, leaving Cheney a virtual ghost town.  Matt and I have taken this opportunity to do some relaxing and exploring.  Most of Matt's exploring has been to the local golfing spots, some of which have absolutely breathtaking views.  Indian Canyon Golf course. 

My exploring has been limited to the local clinics and the grocery store.  However there was one gem, it's a "little-bit-of-everything" store called a Ben Franklin.  The sign on the front of the store looks like it hasn't changed 40 years.  The good news is that they have a well stocked fabric section, with Güterman thread, so now I don't have to go into Spokane (second largest city in the state of Washington and is only 15 minutes away from Cheney) for just notions.

I feel happy here, I think a change is just what I needed.

I've moved!

Hi neighbors. I've moved my blog to TypePad. You can now visit me at http://velvetavalon.typepad.com/blog/. You can follow me on TypePad by visiting my profile. See you there!

Just when I think I'm over it...

So I found out who they hired instead of me... She is actually a girl I went to high school who was subbing in the building at the end of the year.  So I know her work experience and I KNOW she is not even close to being as qualified as I am in working with at risk youth, the only place she exceeds me is that she is bilingual.  The worst thing is that I don't think she even applied for it, that they just called her for an interview.  I can't be mad at her though, it's not her fault this was all the new VP's decision.

When I talked to my old supervisor he said that the Vice Principal's reasoning was, " You didn't represent your level of experience well in the interview".  So I felt like I had done some thing wrong and I was willing to accept that, and move on.  I knew I was going to find out the full story eventually and I was really hoping that the person they hired was just as qualified as I was when I first got the job, but no, shit had to get crazy and now I'm mad all over again because I really and truly was fucked over.

Ugh, really?

poop icing on the cake!

So, last night Matt got some e-mail saying his financial aid had been revised and it looked like they took away his student loans.  Which means we can't afford to move up there.  But we don't know if they are just revising it now that he got the GSA scholarship or what?  But when things like this go wrong Matt can't just chill until Monday and call and see what's really going on.  Nope, it's worst case scenario, batten down the hatches, prepare for impact, end of the world shit.  So that's what I get to deal with this weekend, thanks EWU!  I'm not letting it be a crimp in my momentum though.

I'm trying to sell and give away as much of my junk as I can.  So I posted an offering on my facebook and had a friend say she'd take a table.  Then she couldn't, so I posted it again, another friend said he would take it and then like two seconds later say he was kidding, and then my uncle joins in on joking saying he'd fly out on his private jet or some inane thing.  I'm trying to be serious and people just want to play.  GRR.

Procrastination Update...

No really I'm just taking a break, I totally accomplished a lot today, lol.

I went through all my paperwork and records and documents today and whew!!  Life sure changed when I took the majority of my bills paperless.  All this crap is 2-3 years old and most of it is for accounts I've long since closed or payed off and canceled.  Feels so good to purge all this junk and really streamline my life, especially since we are moving to a seemingly smaller apartment.

Estoy muy loco, especialimente when it comes to moving.  My homebody side is digging in its heels saying, "No we just got here and I feel comfortable!", which kicks in my anxiety and makes me not focus and stick to the plan that my excited for change side has all laid out.   It feels like a battle in my brain some days, and most of the time I just sit there waiting to see which side comes out victorious and let them decide how I'm going to react.  Needless to say I'm overwhelmed, this is not aided by Matt's underwhelmed behavior.  He acts like we could wait till Sunday night and be just fine.  As a planner this totally freaks my shit.

However, Matt and I have only had one fight about moving, Yay!

My lack of focus is going to drive me batty here real quick.  I've walked away from this blog post literally 7 times in the last two hours.  Do I need adderall?  Do any of you know a good remedy for lack of focus?  ooh that's a shiny button, better go pack in the bedroom; oh that reminds me of something i need to finish in the craft room; if i don't get one thing finished i feel like i did nothing, so lets go pack something easy like books, I have books in the bedroom, better pack in the bedroom, oh there's that shiny button again it needs to go in the craft room.  

it's like this all the time.  I need help.

A brief update...

• Lost my job.  So unbelievably pissed, but it was all about some politics and had nothing to do with my qualifications.
  
• Thus, I'm moving with Matt to Cheney, WA.
• IN A WEEK (am I crazy?)
• BFF came into town and I've stopped counting calories.  Don't worry I'll get back on the wagon!
  
• Sewed more in the last 24hrs than I have all summer.  Finally!
  
• Taught myself how to make leather gloves.  I am impressed with myself!
  

so far so good...

So I think I found something that I like...

It's an app for my phone from FatSecret.com.  It's a food diary where you can scan the barcode of whatever you are eating and it loads the nutrition info and tracks your recommended daily intake.  It's fairly detailed and fun to use.  It also has a huge database of nutrition info for restaurants.  It suits my personality and makes me feel like I got a new toy!

What I'm getting the most from is the education of what and how much I actually eat and what of that is okay.  I'm also learning a little bit about my eating habits too.  I eat when I'm bored or not engaged, which is news to me!  I always thought my problem was that I was eating after I felt full, which I miraculously don't do when I'm tracking my calorie intake.  Instead each meal is like using a debit card, I carefully plan and decide if I can "afford" it in my 500 cal per meal plan.  lol my two favorite anxieties money and weight loss all rolled up into a 3 times daily routine.  I like doing it and I like what I'm learning from it, so we'll see.

So far, so good.

Bad mood rising...

Yesterday was such a good day, why does today have to suck so much?!

• I had my interview this morning, It felt good to be all dressed up and back in the building, feeling confident and positive.  I think this is why public school employees get the summer off, you need that time to get back to being the person who wants to do that job!  I think the interview went well.  I mean, I don't think I wowed the new VP but I gave all the right answers and showed that through my experience, skills, and heart that I'm the best candidate.  I'd be surprised and insulted if I wasn't hired back.

• I came back home and took a nap, woke up dehydrated and with a headache, perfect mood enhancer! 

• Turns out my deferment forbearance request I sent in June didn't go thru so my account is 33 days past due with out so much as an e-mail or letter indicating there was an issue.  C'mon Nelnet, I need communication and transparency and I needed it 3 months ago!

• Now there are lots of video games that make me motion sick (I think it has to do with first person aspect on the larger screen), FFXII is one of them.  Matt is 72 hours into it and shows no sign of slowing down so hanging out in the living room with the AC is out of the question since even asking him to turn it off for a little bit is met with serious resistance.  This is why I'm not having his babies.

• Getting ready for craft night.  I'm just going to pick a pattern, pick a fabric, and fucking make something, for the love of Buddha, just make something!!!  We'll see how this goes.
  

A hint of optimism...

Talked to my BFF last night for 3 hours about how we lost sight of our dreams and passions and are having one hell of a time trying to make our passions our job/life.  She always has a way of making me believe I can do stuff I've told myself I can't.

Today feels a little better.

I had a dietary struggle with chicken strips and lost.  I had posted on FB that I was "...having trouble being good and eating well when all I crave is fried chicken."  I received a lot of supportive messages about hanging in there and here are healthy alternatives.  When I got home from my binge (3 chicken strips and honey mustard sauce and a Mt. Dew throwback with real sugar) I actually felt disappointed in myself, not for not being strong and holding out but for not even trying.  Not. Even. Trying.

However... feeling disappointed is better than how I usually, which is happy, comforted and satiated.  I want to change, and I want to eat better and I want to lose the weight, I think I just need help.  And by help I mean I need a 30 day meal plan, someone has to tell me what to do every step of the way. 

Today I've decided that I need to try.

QotD: If I Had a Million Dollars...

"What would you do with a million dollars? "

C'mon VOX this is a lame newbie question, but here I am answering it.

1,000,000/2= 500,000 into a an IRA or money market account and grow it for retirement and or capital for my business I want to start.

the other 500,000 would go like this...

-$130,000 settle my student loan debt

-$3000 pay off my credit cards

-$20,000 get a car

-$15,000 pay off Matt's student debt

-$60,000 pay off my parent's debt

-$25,000 pay off my sister's debt

-$247,000 put a down payment on a house in San Diego/ Irvine/ Newport beach